Home is Where the School Is

"We didn't land on Little Rock,
Little Rock Landed On Us."

Tomorrow will mark the 50th anniversary of the "Little Rock 9" - a bunch of black kids who had the audacity to register for classes at a school in America. When they got there, I can only imagine they looked around at all the ignorant crackers and said to themselves "And, what the fuck am I supposed to learn from these morons?" Well, if they're still alive, they can take heart in the knowledge that whitey has spent the past 50 years figuring out how to re-separate everyone back into their neat black-and-white pigeon holes. The white man's belief in segregation is as strong and persistent as ever, but it has a new name: homeschooling.

When you hear the word "homeschooling," you probably envision some nerdy 12-year-old daughter of a physicist, sitting at home leafing through 16th-century Dutch literature while she simultaneously prepares to defend her Scripps-Howard Spelling Bee title. Unfortunately, the vast majority of home-schooled kids are white people from America's heartland, swept from their local public schools by their disillusioned evangelical parents whose worst nightmare is that little Daisy Mae will end up infested by the satanic semen of her black, Mexican or (GASP!) Mormon classmate. So, since mom has already been sentenced to a life of social isolation while she toils at home mending socks and suffering through the occasional sexual assault at the hands of her drunken Promise-Keeping husband, she might as well teach the kiddies about the three R's and ensure that they continue her family's legacy of quiet desperation. The Lord would surely approve.

"Misogyny ... can I have a definition?"

Of course, OneNewsNow.com readers are HUGE proponents of homeschooling, especially when their local curriculum is TOTALLY SEXY. In his regularly-featured column, culture warrior Matt Barber strikes back when an Illinois School District Pushes Smut on Children:

Illinois School District 126 [...] has defended its choice to assign summer reading to 12- and 13-year-olds that is replete with harsh profanity and references to teen sex -- even teen sex with adults. [...] One of the books, Fat Kid Rules the World (by K.L. Going), contains numerous salacious passages that are totally inappropriate for quotation here.

[...]

The agenda is pushed and the curriculum set by leftist groups like the National Education Association (NEA), the ACLU and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). Even the American Library Association (ALA) gave Fat Kid its "Michael L. Printz Award for Excellence in Young Adult Literature." The book also received a rave review from America's largest homosexual activist literary organization, Lambda Literary Foundation.

By constantly lowering the bar on decency, educators are intentionally playing a game of ideological limbo with our children's moral well-being as they seek to create little moral relativists in their own iconoclastic self-image. And they're robbing kids of great reading like Oliver Twist, Treasure Island and many others in the process.

At least the Little Rock 9 can take comfort that Gay is the new Black. Evidently, keeping your kids locked up in your own home and only socializing with their parents, brothers, sisters and cousins (and the occasional livestock) is the best way to keep them safe from unnatural influences on their sexual development. (INSERT OWN PUNCHLINE HERE)

Of course, the loyal OneNewsNow readers have weighed in on this issue in droves:

No wonder our kids are committing suicide, joining gangs and killing each other. What do people expect when kids are fed this filth right from their schools. It literally makes me sick.
Posted by Lynn

Lynn, last I checked, most of the kids in gangs probably didn't keep up on their summer reading.

The citizens should band together and take this as high as needed to stop it. Of course, again and again, the HOMOS push this sickness agenda on everyone including young children. They need to be stopped whatever it takes - and this is as good a start as any. Hopefully these parents will do whatever necessary to protect their children from these evil people.
Posted by Sandy

Sandy, should the HOMO citizens also band together with these folks and "take this as high" (WTF is that supposed to mean?)? While your writing may be too confusing for a non-home-schooled person to comprehend, I think that the message that they "must be stopped whatever it takes" is pretty clear: I'll grab some rope and fire up the pickup truck.

A book that details sexual conduct between teens and adults is strickly unnatural and perverted adult material even in the most degenerate places. (Is Mr. Berger on the national register for pedifiles? If not, he should be, as this certainly puts his character in question.)
Posted by Gloria

I haven't read that dialect since Mayella took the stand in "To Kill a Mockingbird." I'm guessing that Atticus would pretty easily break Gloria under cross-examination.

My favorite comment is this one, which proves that you can be a Christian and a capitalist at the same time:

This is why I teach my kids at home, which only takes less than 15 minutes of my time per day. If you don't believe it, have a look at the Robinson Curriculum. It works wonders.
Posted by dan

Thanks for that totally unsolicited and unbiased endorsement of The Robinson Curriculum, "dan." If you've never heard of TRC, it's a favorite among Christian homeschoolers - a complete K-12 curriculum sequence with support materials that allows even the dumbest fat-assed backwater housefrau to help their kids with that there learnin' (as long as they own a home COM-puuuuter). Of course, TRC is not without its ideological trappings, as can be seen in their position paper on Multiculturalism:

This word has been brought to us by the dead hand of government and by political agitators who seek to use American schools as mechanisms for social engineering rather than institutions of learning. By this word and the propaganda that surrounds it, they seek to introduce "values" into the differences between different human beings—the difference itself being the value—and they themselves being the self-anointed custodians of that manufactured value. No longer agreeing with Thomas Jefferson and our other founding fathers that all people are created equal and that each person should have an equal right before the law to life, liberty, property, and an opportunity to better himself by adopting the best examples set by other people, the state schools teach that all people should be forced to remain different so that their "cultures" will not change.

Don't you love it when hillbillies use the word "agitators"? We don't need their kind, these outside agitators comin' into our town and agitatin' up all their agitational idears. What fucking century is this, anyway? As Lostsoul might say, "Whoops! Someone forgot to wind the calendar." But the richest nugget from this article - which is evidently so timeless in its wisdom that it needn't be updated, even though it was first published in 1994 - is the screed which begins:

The latest example of multiculturalism is being called "ebonics." Ebonics is supposed to be a culturally different (and therefore automatically valuable) language spoken in part of the black community. In fact, it is nothing more than a hodge-podge of slang and poor grammar that has arisen as black students, deprived of a decent education by public schools, seek to communicate with one another.

So, not to worry, Little Rock 9. The homeschooling mission has not focused so much on the homos that they have forgotten about you and your filthy black grandchildren.

Before closing, I want to thank Red Tory for mentioning my horrid repository of nauseating vulgarities on his fantastic blog, which actually contains discussions of political merit. It's an honor to be recognized by someone who actually produces something of social value, and if you prefer intellectual edification to mindless profanities and date-rape jokes, I suggest you stick with his site and never return here again.