Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Devout Christians Defend Traditional Asses

If there were an 11th Commandment, it would be "Thou Shalt Not Mess With The Ass." Normally, Christians feverishly protect the male ass from external intrusion, but lately they have been branching out into the world of female ass advocacy. Our friends at detail a particularly putrid perversion of that which God made and no man shall put asunder:

CKE Restaurants' Patty Melt "flat buns" ad for its Carl's Jr. and Hardee's Restaurants has been pulled and re-edited to remove a teacher who danced atop her desk in a classroom while pointing out her flat derriere -- the subject of rapping hip-hoppers in her classroom [...] Bill Johnson of American Decency Association says problems like this are why the Bible commands Christians to be salt and light in the culture.
Here is the offending ad, for which we should immediately invoke Sharia law and have the model stoned, beaten and raped (though not necessarily in that order):

Of course, the fine OneNewsNow readers have their say on the matter:

I have to agree. I disconnected my television for 15 years. Now that our son is grown, married and on his own, I have reconnected it. I am on the verge of a complete disconnection at this rate. I cannot understand the commercial advertisors. I realize that all they are interested in is the money, but at the expense of our children? The commercials that degrade children or create images of them as bullies and mean people is outrageous as well as those mentioned in this article of sex inuendos!! I am sick of it!!!
Posted by Lynn

Lynn - please re-connect your "speak & spell" while you are at it.
I watched a cartoon with my grandchild one Saturday morning and was appalled to see the SUPERHERO backhand a young woman, knocking her across the room! Some message to be presenting to young boys and girls...
Posted by Jane Sullivan

Jane - why are you watching "The Adventures of Pimpman and Cracky" anyway?

i could not agree more. i'm as much offended by the commercials any more as i am on any & most tv programs. i asked when did hamburgers and sex end up in the same sentence. the Dairy Queen some of have had the same enuendo's.
Posted by sue sopala

People have sex without hamburgers?

It's a wild world.


Fantod said...

I received an AFA alert about this ad, too. What's funny is that the AFA alerts often contain links to the offending material, complete with a big, bold warning that the material "is offensive and provided only for the purpose of educating our members."

I have a feeling that there are a lot of shut-in christianists out there who subscribe to AFA alerts purely for the soft porn and videos of men kissing.

vesti said...

'tod, Brent Bozell's site (for the "Parents Television Council" or some dogshit like that) is the same way. There's softcore porn links ALL OVER the place, for "educational" purposes. It's as if they think Pete Townshend is visiting the site or something.

Anonymous said...

Come over to our blog and tell us that you sodomite.
We have linked to your blog so feel free to bring your filth over.

Anonymous said...

While I agree that the actress deserves a good smiting, I don't know that I'd go as far as to have her stoned, beaten and raped. That seems a little over the top, to be honest. God bless!

~Miss Mabel Gargula

Red Tory said...

"Salt and light..." Huh?

Hey, way to piss off the Brownback folks. You're on your way to fame and hilarious misfortune now!