Monday, October 22, 2007

Gay Ear Tickling

I'm having a hard time figuring out who evangelicals hate more - Mormons or Episcopalians. Mormons may have added their own satanic material to the Bible by looking into Harry Potter's sorting hat, but at least they demonize gays and don't let them serve as Bishops. Once again, Katharine Jefferts Schori is the object of reader scorn, as she dared to bring Jesus' clumsily hung body into the argument on homosexuality and the church:

"We reaffirmed commitments made at the last General Convention to wait and to consider carefully before consenting to the election of another openly gay and partnered bishop, and to wait before authorizing rights for blessing same-sex unions. The crucifixion I suffer is not being able to include the fullness of the gifts of my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, that they are not yet able to live those out in all orders of ministry in this church, that their unions are unable to be blessed in those places," she stated.

Silly Katharine - gays aren't crucified, they're ostracized from their families, shunned by society and then either dragged behind trucks or beaten by angry mobs. Now that we've clarified that point, let's see what the braintrust has to say about her demonically impertinent comments:

Boy oh boy, if I'm reading this right, this presiding Bishop Kate Schori is WAYYY out there. She is part of the problem. The Episcopal Church doesn't believe the Bible and kicked God out a long time ago. We shouldn't take the Bible LITERALLY??? Is she kidding? Then what are Episcopalians supposed to base their faith on anyway? The Episcopal church is watering down the Gospel in an attempt to make their church seem more appealing. They hold Bizaars, fish dinners, towel parties and Christmas craft shows to raise money rather than preach the Gospel and tell their members what the Bible says about tithing. And the blessings that go with it. The Episcopal church doesn't even believe in God. They think He's just "good thoughts." Bye bye Episcopal church!

Posted by Mark Krampen

I have the same criticisms about my local high school. They told kids not to take "Animal Farm" literally, when we all know it's about the problems that can occur when subverts God's commands for humans to hold absolute dominion over nature and the animal kingdom. And many people got in trouble for the latest Towel Party, which got totally out of control when Joker hit Pyle too many times.

Jesus said that He came to fulfill the law and the prophets and that not one jot nor one tiddle will be left out. It is interesting that Schori uses this reference to say that Jesus does not call us to obey the law of God, since Jesus is God. Why would He die on the cross for us, if He did not intend for us to follow Him every step.

Posted by cindy

My entire life, government has done nothing but throw money at those damn tiddles and jots, and they have done nothing to improve their social standing. Personally, I will never hire another tiddle. But I might have a bit of a fetish for the jots.

It may become evident that these so called leaders have a different god, called money. It is time to taker their god away from them. There needs to be a tea party here also.

Posted by Paul Ruppert

Hmmm ... is that the same God that Mark Krampen wants us to tithe to? Frankly, I owe Jesus an extra 5 points vig by Wednesday, or he'll send Zaccheus to bust my fuckin' legs.

it would seem that some that claim to be pastors in a house of God and who claim to represent him and to be teaching his word, are attempting to stick their finger in his eye.

personally, i would have immediately left any congregation or denomination that did not defrock anyone that was found to be actively homosexual. i especially would not have condoned his/her being promoted.

Posted by Dan Shamrock

Frankly Dan, once those gays take off their frocks, they poke their finger everywhere BUT the eye.

By their fruits we shall know them.

Posted by Christopher

The word is ... it's pomegranates.

Bet you that money is at the root of all this - what do you think?

Posted by Ed C

More anti-tithe talk ... I won't have it, I tell you.

The scripture is plain about people seeking those who will tickle their ears. It appears this is one denomination that is willing to throw out God's word for the soothing of all those who might be called to live by it!

Posted by Rob from VA

I think I have it now ... are "ears" and "eyes" homo code words for "anuses"?

Now it all makes sense.


Carl said...

she dared to bring Jesus' clumsily hung body into the argument on homosexuality and the church

I have it on good authority that Jesus was well-hung...

I wonder what One News is handling Dumbeldore being gay and all...

Fantod said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fantod said...

Man, all this talk of tickling and defrocking tiddles at towel parties makes me want to hold my Bizaar and poke something.

These Christianists are dirty.