Monday, October 15, 2007

The Best Part of Waking Up

The Best Part of Waking Up? It's Janet Folger in your cup. Janet is yet another in's stable of fire-and-brimstone, "armageddon is coming if we don't elect radical Christians whom will buy every white person a gun," over-the-top wacko columnists. That description may seem hyperbolic - until you read her "writings":

There has never been another election like this in all of our history -- it is for all or nothing ... literally. We will either win everything we have worked for in the last three and a half decades or we will lose it all.

WE'RE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES, PEOPLE! It would be a nice touch if she would tack on this phrase at the end of that statement: "In fact, if we lose the election, we should all band together to drink poison communion wine, and make the southern and plains states look like the world's largest Jonestown replication project." Unfortunately, there's precious little hope of that, as Janet is far too concerned on saving the lives of trillions of little sperms that might someday become God's unwanted babies:

Beyond losing the chance to restore protection to unborn children in our lifetime, we face losing every single pro-life law we have passed in the last 34 years. Parental notice, parental consent, the woman's right to know law, waiting periods, fetal homicide, abortion funding restrictions, partial-birth abortion bans -- all gone -- wiped off the books in every single state with the promised signature of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama to the radical "Freedom of Choice Act," or FOCA.

Apparently, that "Fetal Homicide" law must have been passed in 1999, because that's when one of my favorite shows went off the air:

Of course, Janet also struggles with the idea that the federal government wants to limit the amount of hatred that she and her church pals can express toward gays, Muslims, Mexicans and negroes:

You see, when 28 million evangelical Christians sat home in 2006, we handed the keys of power in Congress to those who hate us. Not only did they pass "hate crimes" legislation, which, without a presidential veto, will criminalize Christianity, now nearly a fourth of the U.S. House of Representatives and a fifth of the U.S. Senate are cosponsors of the most radical abortion bill this nation has ever seen. The only thing FOCA doesn't do is implement the forced-abortion policy of China, which, I suppose, they can add by amendment.

Ooh! I love Janet's sassy "tee hee" joke about how the Chinese government slices up women to avoid overpopulating the world with burdensome girls. But wait, she ain't done:

Say goodbye to every single pro-life advance we have made in three and a half decades. And say hello to partial-birth abortion performed on your 12-year-old daughter without your knowledge or consent, paid for with your tax dollars in every single state. That's what Hillary and Barack will sign if elected to the White House.

What about my 11-year-old daughter? Boy, I REALLY hope that she's not too young for a D&X, or I might have some 'splainin to do. But for now, Janet will summarize it all for us:

The end to abortion on demand is within our grasp; so is the annihilation of every advance we have ever made. Values Voters: Are you ready to unite yet?

The Mensa Meeting Otherwise Knows as OneNewsNow's Readers sure are ready to unite! Let's begin with another classic from our good pal Earl B. Buggin:

I think the hardest thing for me to understand is why the American people voted out Republicans after one term. It took the Democrats almost 50 years of control to mess up our government and way of life. What makes the people think that the Republicans could fix it in 4 years. Give me a break. It's going to take a lot longer to fix what's been done to this country. Of course it would help if some Republicans would stop spending money like the were Democrats. We all know where the money comes from. The Middle-Class.

Posted by Earl B. Phillips

Careful Earl, John Stossel is coming after you with his copyright on "Give Me a Break" (although he is currently in mediation with the estate of Nell Carter). And is it me, or did I miss all the other "terms" where the GOP had a congressional majority? And Bush is in his second term, correct? Earl Be Needin' a Calendar.

I know this probably won't be received well, but I've always thought, "Team Thompson/Huckabee." Of course, why not, "Huckabee/Thompson." I simply feel (and I call it nothing more than a feeling) but there is something intuitively wrong with the later. I'm still thinking our best chance is "Thompson/Huckabee!!!"

Posted by Gene Mattingly

Don't you love when delusional Christian zealots play cruel jokes on themselves? Gene is apparently hoping for a GOP ticket with the electoral power of George McGovern.

Psalms 33:12 says " Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
The people He has chosen as His own inheritance".
Get on your knees and prayer for a man of righteousness to become President of the USA.

Posted by Jean Donauer

That's right Jean - a man. Not some stank ho, a man. Man, man, man, man, man.

Oh, and Jesus? Please make that man be not a negro.


not_over_it said...

A "woman's right to know law"?

You mean I could have had multiple abortions and not even know about them?

Where's the fun in that?

Fantod said...

There has never been another election like this in all of our history -- it is for all or nothing ... literally.

Janet's been watching Stephen Colbert!

"I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important."

Carl said...

There has never been another election like this in all of our history -- it is for all or nothing ... literally. We will either win everything we have worked for in the last three and a half decades or we will lose it all.

Errrrrrrrrrrr, don't look now, but you've spent thirty years winning, um, nothing.

web_geek said...

"Earl Be Needin' a Calendar."

Now that's funny!